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SKIING INSTRUCTOR HUMOR
by Bill Jones, Ski Instructor
Certified Professional Ski Instructor (Registration #110478)

Jokes for the would-be ski instructor:

"How do you tell a ski instructor from a pizza?"
A pizza can feed a family of four.

How can you make a small fortune teaching skiing?
Start with a big one.

Jokes not to be shared with snowboarders:

Three snowboarders are riding in the backseat of a car. Who is driving?
The sheriff.

What do you call a snowboarder who has broken up with his girlfriend?
Homeless.

How do you tell a snowboarder from a vacuum cleaner?
It's how the dirt bag is attached.

How does a snowboarder introduce himself?
"Sorry, dude."

Jokes for ski instructors:

At a party, how do you tell who the ski instructor is?
Don't worry. He will tell you.

On a date, what does a ski instructor say after the first hour?
"That's enough talk about me; now let's talk about skiing."

How many ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
A dozen. One unscrews the bulb and the rest analyze the turns.

How does a ski instructor change a light bulb?
He holds the bulb while the world revolves around him.

A ski instructor died and went to heaven. He saw St. Peter at the Pearly Gate but there was a line waiting to get in, so our ski instructor went up to the head of the line and told St. Peter that he was a ski instructor and to let him go in at the head of the line. St. Peter said, "Even though you are a ski instructor, you must go to the end of the line and wait your turn like all the rest." Not wanting to jeopardize his chances, our ski instructor did as told, grumbling to himself. Presently our ski instructor saw another ski instructor go up to St. Peter at the head of the line. St. Peter looked up and waved that person on in. So our ski instructor went back up to the head of the line and said to St. Peter, "Why did you let that ski instructor go to the head of the line and not me?" St. Peter explained, "That was not a ski instructor:  That was God. He just thinks he is a ski instructor."

For adults only--risque content: enter at your own risk (to be added)

Original sources for materials used above are being sought so that proper credit can be given. Please help if you can by emailing billjones@skimybest.com. Thanks.

This "Skiing Instructor Humor" page last modified  03/28/2008: \SkiMyBest\skihumor.htm.. Copyright © 2008 William R Jones.